Could it be?

Everything I did, I did it for a reason. There is a reason why I am who I am.

Good evening.


I spent almost the whole day on my bed, since yesterday, listening to music and thinking. I'm not feeling alright. I miss you :( I can't dealt with the pain, that I decided to go out and went to my sister's home. I met my niece and he is a perfect distraction. I love him. and I miss you so much. I'm really sorry.  

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I know your heart will never be a home.

"I don't know how we ended up here, I don't know cause its never been so clear, we made a mistake dear... Let me heal, the ruins left inside of you... Take my breath, as your own, take my eyes, to guide you home..." 

- All time low, through the trees. 

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I miss you... 

And it goes like this...

"I know there's sunshine behind that rain. I know there's good time behind that pain" 

- J.B, Pray. 

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Yesterday, I had a very good time with the people I love. And I'm so thankful for that. :)

Pray

Its Sunday, I just feels like want to pray and thanks to God for everything. I search online and came up with this prayer. 

For all You have given,

Thank You God.

For all You have withheld,

Thank You God.

For all You have withdrawn,

Thank You God.

For all You have permitted,

Thank You God.

For all You have prevented,

Thank You God.

For all You have forgiven me,

Thank You God.

For all You have prepared for me,

Thank You God.

For the death You have chosen for me,

Thank you God.

For the place you are keeping for me in heaven, 

Thank You God.

For having created me to love You for eternity,

Thank You God. 

And I found this quote, 

And I found that very true, indeed. Since He knows the best for us. Amin! 

Have a nice Sunday everyone! :)

I know I'm not the best for you but can you promise that you will stay?

"But you didn't have to cut me off

Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing

And I don't even need your love

But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough"

"Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over

Part of me believing it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know"

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Love this song so much... you can watch and listen to the song  by clicking here - > Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know (feat. Kimbra) - official video

All I need is a place to rest my head

Good evening. 


Its raining outside and I'm feeling so exhausted now. The day was so dreadful. I didn't have anything to do, nothing at all. Just sitting there and wait till it's time to go home! T___T Its painful to keep myself to stay awake. I did fall asleep!! I don't want people around me think I'm such a lazy ass! So, I keep on walking around just to make myself awake :s Dear God, I don't know how long I can stand to go through all these things :/ 


And now, I'm not feeling very well. If I keep on getting less rest and being stressful, in few days or maybe later or tomorrow, for sure I will catch a fever. :s Even now I'm feeling so weak already and got sore throat :'( I'm feeling so tired, but then, I can't sleep well :( It's killing me. 

Below is part of the lyrics of a song called half alive by Secondhand Serenade.

"I was trying to disappear, but you got me wrapped around you. I can't hardly breathe without you".

It stuck in my mind since the morning till now and I seriously don't want to keep thinking about it.

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I'm almost alive

Don't make me fall for you if you don't plan on catching me

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You didn't have to cut me off

I woke up early today due to the throbbing pain from my ear. I'm half deaf! :0 and I miss him :(

My friend text me early in the morning and ask me to go with her to attend an event. I hesitate at first, but them, I think maybe its the right thing to do so I can get my mind off him :/
The event was not bad. I got loads of important advice from the talk. Although I went home tired, but well, at least my day is productive! :D 

After the event, my friends and I went to have dinner together and then we walked around the shopping area. While walking, my mind started to wander off and I suddenly said " I think he will leave. Cause I'm sure he doesn't miss me anymore cause if he does, he won't stand it ignoring me almost the whole day". My friend said I'm being silly and told me not to think about it and be positive...

So that night, he replied my text (which I text few hours back). He told me we should move on our own. I cried of course and asked him why. He just keep saying to leave it and he seems to make it like its not a big deal. My heart ache. But what can I do? I apologize to God for crying. It's not that I'm trying to disagree but I just have to, to ease the pain. I'm afraid I will miss him.. But then, I can't force him to love me and stay. If he's happy with his decision, I can't do anything about it. People say, everything happen for a reason. Maybe this is for the best. For both of us. All I can do is pray to God, to heal my heart and give me the strength to get through this. I don't want to hate him for leaving me. I'm sure God must have a better plan for me. I trust Him.

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He said he will text me again, but I'm sure he won't do that. I just can feel it, just like how I can feel he will leave me :)

Talk to me

First of all, happy birthday to my second sister. May God bless you! 

Today is the day I've been waiting for, not because its my sister birthday, but its my first off day~ LOL. But sadly, I have to spend almost the whole day to do and settle something :( I'm tired but then, what to do? I just want to be healthy soon cause I want us to work out although its less than a year left. I sacrifice my rest time and spent almost 8 hours driving on the road just to fix everything cause I love him. I thank God for giving me the strength to get through this. It is hard for me to do this as I'm all alone. Everyone is leaving... But then, people said, God won't let you go through something that's out of our capability... and I'm sure I can do this...

You're the one that I think about always :)

Today is the first day of attachment, I'm feeling so nervous about it and hope everything will be well. At the same time, I'm glad and happy. I thank God for giving me my love back :) I'm feeling so so happy about it. New life, new environment and I have him back. Everything feels complete! Dear God, bless my new life. Bless our relationship! :D 

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Make it, own it, live it

Other things that are not cool:
1. loving someone but you know when it will have to end and where the relation is going.
2. Having an awesome relationship but talking about future where there is no "us".


This is my situation now. No good isn't it? :( 


I love this guy, he makes me happy, he said he is happy with me. But, we are in an open relationship. He said forever is not possible cause of their people's tradition. Some people said, love is different, love is love. No, this one is not like that. I don't think so. Some people said I'm stupid for loving and wanting him, and still with him, although I know perfectly well, things won't change with time with us. But then, when I think again, maybe this is what I need, to feel that love does exist. To feel happiness.  Maybe right now, serious relationship is not what I want yet. Or maybe, God just want to test me before giving me the one. Maybe He want to see whether I can appreciate the small and short happiness. But I consider it as a big happiness though, he is a very nice guy and makes me happy although we have gone through many difficulty so far. I choose this, I made this decision. I know perfectly well, there is no us in the future.  


So yesterday, we were spending our time together. And we talked about loads of thing. Future is included. Although he didn't say it clearly that it is us, but he for me its crystal clear, one day we will both have to get married. But not us, should get married. There is no us :') 


I know when we will break up, and we both know the reason why. Maybe we still can have a long distance relationship, but what's the point of that? He is older than me, he has to get married in few years. But above all, I pray that we both will get happiness. How God planned for us. Although I do wish I can marry him someday, but then, I leave it all to God. All I can do now is, to appreciate what has been given, what I have and enjoy every moment I spend with him. Less than a year left, I'm hoping I could make him happy and will always remember me, us and all the things that we did and shared. Aamiin. 

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It doesn't have to be like this

When you're in love with someone and another person manage to steal your heart, its mean that you're not really in love with that someone. Cause if you do, you won't fall for other.

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I feel so untouched

Hello! Good evening :)


Errr... what to update huh? :/ hehe .. btw, the talent competition that should be held at the mall, today, was cancel! We didn't get an approval. :s 


Hmm.. God, im so blank right now -.- Maybe I'm tired :s I was out since 10+am and fetch me love first before we headed the mall. I was there till around 5+ and send me love to his house first before I went home. Then now, I'm out again to my cousin's house to hang out with them -.- 


I guess that's all I can share for now :s

Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ? :s

Helllloooooo! :)


I'm at my cousin's place now! I was planning to do my assignment and lab reports! Currently, there are 8 lab reports need to be done! But instead of doing it, here I am... blogging :D :p. 


I just want to share what's on my mind and how I feel right now! So... here it is....

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I LOVE NICOLE SCHERZINGER!!!!! OMG!!!! OMG!! OMG!!! SHE'S SO DAMN HOT!! SEXAYYYY!!! AND2 I LOVE ... NO2.. REALLY2 LOVE HER BODY!!! WISH I HAVE THAT BODY :'( AND2 I LOVE HER FACE AND HER LIPS! DAMN IT!! SHE IS SO DAMN GORGEOUS :'S *DROOLING* I really adore her :'D

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I love to hear her voice too and the way she danceeee.... OMG!! just OMG... She makes me feels like I'm falling in love all over again... awwww..... :')

I'm Just A Poor Girl Comes From A Poor Family

Hello....


I'm alone now... again... 


I think I don't want to give our relation a chance or fix it. It can't be fix... The problems are just the same and ON REPEAT!! As I said, I won't be part of you my dear love... Never will... :( I do love you, but, we are totally different :( This breakup do hurts me a lot ... But, I will try to be strong and moving on. I will just go with the flow. For now, I want to focus on my own life and study :( Take care you... :( I really miss you... and will miss you all the time :'( 

"And I don't know how, I can do without, I just need you now" - Lady Antebellum

So Happy Together

Morning~ :) 


Today is our anniversary! 


Je t'aime baby!!! :D I LOVE YOU!! :)

Shhh~~ don't make a sound dear stomach

Hye :) 

I'm at my friend's room right now, teaching her Chemistry. She's having an exam tomorrow. Wish her luck! 

 My favorite foods ♥ :p

 I love sushi! ♥

I'm feeling hungry now... :( I want to stick to my routine. No eating after 8pm :s I plan to do it for a week and see the difference. So far... I'm able to stick to it! On the third day, I thought I lost. Me and my other 3 course mate went out for lunch! We ordered some foods from the jollibee and we went to the food court to buy some sushi! T___T I feel bad because at first I planned to control my eating ration. But, my friend said, eating too much in the morning is ok. But not after 8! :D Since that day, I planned not to eat after 8 :D and drink plenty of water ! :)

Ermmm... I miss me love so much now. ♥ I want to spend time with him again! :( I love you my love ♥

Here We Go Again

" When I find myself in time of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be~ " - The Beatles, Let It Be. ♥

"And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain, Don't carry the world upon your shoulders. For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool. By making his world a little colder." - The Beatles, hey Jude. ♥

Pink Hippo

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"we're meant to loss the people we love, or else how can we know how important are they?" - Benjamin Button.

 

I want a pink hippo :( 

Things Will Never Be The Same

"It took him 67 days and one really disgusting batch of pancakes.

But Marshall had come back from the dead. Because, while baseball, strippers and guns can help, the only thing that can really heal a broken heart is time." - Ted Mosby, HIMYM, Season 2 Episode 1.

As we grow old, everything around us keep changing. The change is obvious once you're being far apart for some time. It's difficult to keep things stay forever. You must work hard so that that somethings will always stay in your life the way you want it.

Currently, 3 of my close friends are having problems with their relationship and they're still mourning about it. Its difficult for me to handle them all as its 1:3. =.=' They loss their appetite, they don't concentrate on their studies, they're wasting their time! They is no use for me to keep telling them to move on =.=' When I remember the episode of HIMYM, when Marshall was left by Lily, it gave me the idea. Let them be... One day, they'll get over it :)