Make it, own it, live it

Other things that are not cool:
1. loving someone but you know when it will have to end and where the relation is going.
2. Having an awesome relationship but talking about future where there is no "us".


This is my situation now. No good isn't it? :( 


I love this guy, he makes me happy, he said he is happy with me. But, we are in an open relationship. He said forever is not possible cause of their people's tradition. Some people said, love is different, love is love. No, this one is not like that. I don't think so. Some people said I'm stupid for loving and wanting him, and still with him, although I know perfectly well, things won't change with time with us. But then, when I think again, maybe this is what I need, to feel that love does exist. To feel happiness.  Maybe right now, serious relationship is not what I want yet. Or maybe, God just want to test me before giving me the one. Maybe He want to see whether I can appreciate the small and short happiness. But I consider it as a big happiness though, he is a very nice guy and makes me happy although we have gone through many difficulty so far. I choose this, I made this decision. I know perfectly well, there is no us in the future.  


So yesterday, we were spending our time together. And we talked about loads of thing. Future is included. Although he didn't say it clearly that it is us, but he for me its crystal clear, one day we will both have to get married. But not us, should get married. There is no us :') 


I know when we will break up, and we both know the reason why. Maybe we still can have a long distance relationship, but what's the point of that? He is older than me, he has to get married in few years. But above all, I pray that we both will get happiness. How God planned for us. Although I do wish I can marry him someday, but then, I leave it all to God. All I can do now is, to appreciate what has been given, what I have and enjoy every moment I spend with him. Less than a year left, I'm hoping I could make him happy and will always remember me, us and all the things that we did and shared. Aamiin. 

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