I know I'm not the best for you but can you promise that you will stay?

"But you didn't have to cut me off

Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing

And I don't even need your love

But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough"

"Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over

Part of me believing it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know"

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Love this song so much... you can watch and listen to the song  by clicking here - > Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know (feat. Kimbra) - official video

All I need is a place to rest my head

Good evening. 


Its raining outside and I'm feeling so exhausted now. The day was so dreadful. I didn't have anything to do, nothing at all. Just sitting there and wait till it's time to go home! T___T Its painful to keep myself to stay awake. I did fall asleep!! I don't want people around me think I'm such a lazy ass! So, I keep on walking around just to make myself awake :s Dear God, I don't know how long I can stand to go through all these things :/ 


And now, I'm not feeling very well. If I keep on getting less rest and being stressful, in few days or maybe later or tomorrow, for sure I will catch a fever. :s Even now I'm feeling so weak already and got sore throat :'( I'm feeling so tired, but then, I can't sleep well :( It's killing me. 

Below is part of the lyrics of a song called half alive by Secondhand Serenade.

"I was trying to disappear, but you got me wrapped around you. I can't hardly breathe without you".

It stuck in my mind since the morning till now and I seriously don't want to keep thinking about it.

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I have a dream

"In life, there will always be someone that will try to steal your dream" 

- Jozy Julaihi, Amway ♥

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I'm almost alive

Don't make me fall for you if you don't plan on catching me

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You didn't have to cut me off

I woke up early today due to the throbbing pain from my ear. I'm half deaf! :0 and I miss him :(

My friend text me early in the morning and ask me to go with her to attend an event. I hesitate at first, but them, I think maybe its the right thing to do so I can get my mind off him :/
The event was not bad. I got loads of important advice from the talk. Although I went home tired, but well, at least my day is productive! :D 

After the event, my friends and I went to have dinner together and then we walked around the shopping area. While walking, my mind started to wander off and I suddenly said " I think he will leave. Cause I'm sure he doesn't miss me anymore cause if he does, he won't stand it ignoring me almost the whole day". My friend said I'm being silly and told me not to think about it and be positive...

So that night, he replied my text (which I text few hours back). He told me we should move on our own. I cried of course and asked him why. He just keep saying to leave it and he seems to make it like its not a big deal. My heart ache. But what can I do? I apologize to God for crying. It's not that I'm trying to disagree but I just have to, to ease the pain. I'm afraid I will miss him.. But then, I can't force him to love me and stay. If he's happy with his decision, I can't do anything about it. People say, everything happen for a reason. Maybe this is for the best. For both of us. All I can do is pray to God, to heal my heart and give me the strength to get through this. I don't want to hate him for leaving me. I'm sure God must have a better plan for me. I trust Him.

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He said he will text me again, but I'm sure he won't do that. I just can feel it, just like how I can feel he will leave me :)

Talk to me

First of all, happy birthday to my second sister. May God bless you! 

Today is the day I've been waiting for, not because its my sister birthday, but its my first off day~ LOL. But sadly, I have to spend almost the whole day to do and settle something :( I'm tired but then, what to do? I just want to be healthy soon cause I want us to work out although its less than a year left. I sacrifice my rest time and spent almost 8 hours driving on the road just to fix everything cause I love him. I thank God for giving me the strength to get through this. It is hard for me to do this as I'm all alone. Everyone is leaving... But then, people said, God won't let you go through something that's out of our capability... and I'm sure I can do this...

You're the one that I think about always :)

Today is the first day of attachment, I'm feeling so nervous about it and hope everything will be well. At the same time, I'm glad and happy. I thank God for giving me my love back :) I'm feeling so so happy about it. New life, new environment and I have him back. Everything feels complete! Dear God, bless my new life. Bless our relationship! :D 

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